If you haven't heard, Bustle, the online women's magazine, has for the second year in a row deemed April "App-Less April". This is an effort to encourage people to drop their dating apps, and take a shot at meeting people the old-fashioned way.
I for one, am all for taking breaks from dating apps, but I think that if you take a break without addressing the underlying problems you face, taking a break is only delaying your inevitable dissatisfaction. In this episode, I wanted to give you some advice on how to use the last days of App-Less April to improve your dating experience if or when you re-download your dating apps. Here's what you can expect in this episode:
-Tips on how to grade the dating apps you were using
-Tips on how to refresh your dating profile
-Advice on changing your approach to dating and
-Advice on how to find areas that you can direct impact to improve your dating experience
Here’s a simple truth: You can’t go on successful first dates without first having succesful conversations. I don’t care what language you use to communicate, if you’re not using that language to have a conversation to learn about someone, to try to find common ground, you wont be going on very many dates. Looks alone can get you pretty far in life, but getting to know people is always going to be the final, critical thing you need to do. Which is why we wanted to focus on conversations in this episode. I know it might sound a little meta to say that we’re having a conversation about conversations, but trust me, I think you’ll find this episode useful if you struggle to talk to people, online or offline.
So, here’s what you can expect in this episode:
Tips on how to start and build on conversations in dating apps
Tips on how to start and build on conversations when you’re flirting offline
Common conversation killers, and what to say instead
Why it’s important to never force a conversation
Two things that many daters are looking for, and can't quite seem to find, is commitment and being exclusive. It Seems like no matter how hard people try, they just can't seem to figure out how to get what they want. Why can't they find someone who wants a commitment ? What makes someone want to be exclusive, and what holds them back? Why are so many people afraid of rushing into relationships? Is it because of something you're doing wrong, or is it something that's probably out of your control?
In this discussion, we wanted to talk about what makes people generally want to commit, what makes them want to be exclusive, and what you should do when your wants and needs around commitment and exclusivity might be different than your partner's.
This episode has advice for all those situations. We share our own experiences with commitment and exclusivity, and finally, tips for how to build a foundation for a happy and healthy commitment!
What is it that makes someone good at dating? It's a question I've thought about a lot, and one that we thought we'd take a stab at answering in this episode. Assuming that everyone isn't good at dating, specifically online dating, so we've got some tips on how to send a good message on dating apps, and how to respond to the messages you get in order to keep the conversation going. PLUS, we talk about why people send half-hearted messages on dating apps where they seem disinterested, but still try to further the conversation. Don't you hate that?
In part 2 of this guest hosted episode of the podcast, we continue our discussion from our previous episode Ep.126 – When should you bring up things like marriage & kids when dating? – Pt. 1 . My guest host from the episode is Perhaps Perhaps, aka @PolyGalSeeks on Twitter. She’s a married, poly, queer, poly amorous, ethically non-monogamous woman who brings an interesting perspective on dating & relationships. In this half of this two-part episode, we took a larger question about the timing around bringing up marriage when you first start dating and tried to tackle it from a few different angles. In our previous episode (which you should listen to if you haven’t already), we talked about started small, asking how soon you should bring up pets, and work our way up to marriage and kids. In this episode, we cover some heavier topics: When should you bring up your relocation plans? How soon is too soon to bring up your family history, or even your own complicated past? How soon is too soon to bring up your preferences when it comes to sex?
If you want our answers, Press Play
I called in a guest host for this episode and the episode ended up being so good and so long, we had to split it in TWO. You may recognize my guest host from episode 114, Talk Poly to Me, Perhaps Perhaps, aka @PolyGalSeeks on Twitter. In this half of this two part episode, we took a larger question about the timing around bringing up marriage when you first start dating and tried to tackle it from every angle. We start small, by asking how soon you should bring up pets, and work our way up to marriage and kids. Wondering how soon you should bring up the fact that you don't want kids, or your bad credit, or even whether or not you should move in together and where?
If you want our answers, Press Play
This week's episode is a good one, and we hope it was worth the wait. Do you ever feel like you're a stepping stone for your Exes to find someone better than you? Do you ever feel like the "starter" relationship? Do you ever feel like you're helping people find bigger and better things, while you get left behind? If you've ever felt that way, trust us, we understand where you're coming from. Let us talk it out with you, and see if we can change your perspective a bit.
In this week's episode we answer a question about breakup etiquette. What would you do if you wanted to breakup with your partner of 3 years, but the only way to do so in-person would require a 7 hr drive for one of you? Would you have them drive to you so you can break up with them, call them and breakup with them over the phone? Or would you do something completely different?
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In this week's post we answer a listener's question about honesty, when it comes to his past infidelities. If you've cheated in the past, and that's why your marriage ended, how honest do you have to be when you start dating again about your infidelities? How do you avoid losing someone because of your past, and how do you let it go?
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In this week's episode we discuss 7 things we think can ruin a relationship. Whether it's incompatible sex drives, a lack of trust, or messy behavior on Instagram, of which I am guilty of because I like to stir the pot, there are plenty of ways that a relationship can be ruined, and we dive into them all.